A letter from Jo to Blair
by freddie-4884
Summary: After five years apart Jo writes a letter to Blair. First FOL fanfic. Not sure if i should contine the story. Let me know what you think. Cheers.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N: This is my first FOL. I hope you like it. I'm not sure if i should continue with it or not. Let me know what you think. Thanks to Sofrost for beta-ing the letter :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own FOL. Never have never will :(**

* * *

Dear Blair,

Sitting at my desk I decide to finally write the letter I've been holding off from writing for years. I don't know why it's taken me so long to pluck up the courage to do it. It's not like I have to ever face her. If for whatever reason we bump into each other, she doesn't even have to mention that she ever got it. God knows I won't ever mention it, unless she does first. I feel now is the time. Maybe enough time has passed for us. Maybe there's enough water under the bridge now for her to forgive me. But forgive me for what? Maybe she will read it and shed some light on the past.

_Dear Blair,_

_How you doing? I know it's been a long time since we last spoke. A really long time! But I couldn't go any longer without reaching out to you, without apologizing. You know, I don't really know why I am apologising but I am. I can remember the weeks before we left being filled with the usual fun, laughter and banter. We all had a good time. Going to the movies, getting something to eat, reminiscing and visiting old haunts, Remember the Chug-a-lug? ___

_But something changed between us when we were going through all the junk that we had collectively collected over the years in the attic. You had found a box marked with your name on the side and as usual you didn't hesitate to dive in and sort through your memories. Only it wasn't your box, you were haphazardly flicking through a journal when you announced that it wasn't actually your box but it was mine. You stuffed the journal back in the box and pushed it over to where I was. I wasn't angry or anything but I did joke that some things would never change for Princess B. or maybe you had done it yourself to get your hands on my journal. From then until we left you were distant. I could only assume that it was what I said but I remembered that I had said a lot worse to you over the years. I tried to go back to the journal hoping that I could maybe see something in it that would have upset you but I couldn't find it anywhere. I asked Tootie and Natalie but they just said that you were just upset about leaving for good and scared that we would all lose touch. Isn't that what happened between you and me? When was the last time we all meet up, Blair?_

_I'm going to be honest here. I've been keeping up with what's happening in your life. Natalie and Tootie have been keeping me informed. Don't get mad at them, they didn't want to at first but I managed to persuade them. But anyway I digress. I want to know what I did wrong. Why did you abandon, yes abandon, me when I needed you most? At first it was just emotionally, just silly things that I missed over the last couple of days in Peekskill. Things like the smiles and the tender looks, you gave those willingly to the other but you didn't spare a single one for me. I still miss them to this day. Do you know what else I miss, Blair? I miss my friend. The one who made me part of her conspiracies whether I wanted to be involved or not. I miss when you used to make me blush furiously, even with the most simple, innocent, passing compliment. I never believed anyone when they said I was beautiful, but I believed you, sometimes. I want back the friend who held me while I cried and never told a soul afterwards. I want back the friend who was my confident and I want to be your confident again. I want to go back, Blair, back to before I fucked it up._

_Do you know what I hate the most? I hate having to find out what's going on in your life second hand. I want to experience it with you. I don't know if you know what's been happening in my life. Sometimes I wish you do know, like when I made lieutenant, but other times I hope that you don't. Cause they were the hardest times of my life like when Charlie died or my Ma moved to Miami for good. Or when Rick and I got divorced. Did you know that I'm divorcee? About 18 months after we all left Peekskill for good, he asked me for a divorce. Said that there were three people in our marriage. No neither of us was having an affair but I knew what he meant. Each night when we went to bed there was him, me and someone else. Anyway it doesn't matter know, although I will admit here that after I was made inspector I was ready to burst into Warner Industries to personally let you know that I had finally made it. But I was scared. I have faced down the lowest of the low. But I was afraid to come to you in case you called security to have me removed from the building. I hated not having you there by my side through the good and the bad. Do you think we could ever go back?_

_Blair, I want to know when you are happy and when you are sad. I want to be the one you turn to when things look bad. I want to be the one you call first when you're so happy that you just __**have to**__ tell someone. I want to be the shoulder that you cry on. I want the girls' nights, you know, the Four Musketeers together again. Do you think that you could ever forgive me? Please think about it Princess. I want, no, I __**need**__ you in my life. The last five years I've felt lost without you and I'd do anything to be a part of your life again. Please think about it._

_All my love. Always._

_Jo_

Giving the letter one last read though I lift me head and look at the clock. It's time for me to clock out. Putting the letter into an envelope, I now have to decide whether to hand deliver it, yes I know her address, or to stick a stamp on it and put it in the post. Putting on my leather jacket and grabbing my keys, I head out into the cold night. Walking to my car, I finally make a decision. I'm going to hand deliver it.

Stopping at the residence of Miss. Blair Warner. I sit in my car and wonder if I've made a terrible mistake. Writing the letter and driving here to hand deliver it. Finally gathering up the remaining courage I have, I get out of the car and make the long terrifying trek to her mail box. Just as I open up the slot to push the envelope through the door opens, and there stands the woman the woman who has haunted many of my dreams for years than I care to remember.

Staring into the blues eyes I thought I would never see again, I felt warmth spread through my body. She shakes her head as if she doesn't believe her beautiful eyes. As usual she comes to her senses before me.

"Jo?" I suddenly found myself with my arms wrapped around her as she launches herself at me. Melting into the embrace as though the years in between hasn't happened. It feels right, it feels like home.

"Hiya, Princess."

"Oh Jo, what are you doing here? I haven't seen you for so long. How have you been?" She asks stepping back slightly but not leaving my arms. I pull back further from her and look at the letter grasped firmly in my hand. I look back up into her eyes and know that we still have to sort out the past. If we just ignore it, it'll always be there between us.

"I just came to deliver this to you, Blair. I want you to read it and then find me. My address and contact numbers are on it, ok? Please don't wait too long, Princess, I really need to know." I hand her the letter and walk back to my car. As I place the key in the ignition I take a quick look at her. She's still standing at the top of the stairs looking at the letter with a confused look on her face. Shaking my head I pull out into the traffic and head home.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think if you got the time :)**

**Freddie**

**xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N: I was asked to finish the story. So i have, i think. Lol. Anyway this part hasn't been Beta'd, so any mistakes are all mine. Please feel free to point them out. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FOL. Never have never will :(**

**Chapter 2**

I finally make it home, all the while regretting giving Blair that letter. What the hell was I thinking? I really need her in my life. It's been really hard the last few years without her. Even at school, I could face anything as long as I had her by my side. After going through all that I have on my own, I still need her there with me telling me that I'm going to be alright and that it'll all pass. Slumping on my couch with a beer, I grab the remote off the coffee table and start channel surfing hoping to find something to fall asleep to. As I settle on a sports review I lie down on the couch and sit my beer on my stomach. Slowly drifting off to sleep I once again mentally kick myself for not being able to let the past stay where it firmly belongs. In the past.

I awake with a start when someone bangs on my door really hard. I think that the hinges might have been rattled loose. Cursing at the beer I spilt on the floor I move from the couch to answer the door as another round of banging comes from it. Muttering darkly I advance on the door. I swear whoever is trying to batter my door down better have a good excuse. Throwing the door open, all the anger in me flew away and was replaced with shock.

"Blair?" Standing in front of me is the last person I ever thought I would ever again. I know that I gave her the letter but I thought she would just throw it in the bin and forget all about me.

"Do you remember when we went through all the junk that we had collected over the years before we left college? And I went through one of your boxes because I thought it was one of mine and I found that journal?" She asked in a rush. I can only nod my head in answer. She gently pushes her way past me and walks into my front room.

"Please come in." I say sarcastically to her back but she doesn't seem to hear me. Honestly, I'm glad that she didn't, I don't think I could deal with a pissed off princess. Following Blair into the front room, I stand in the doorway and watch her wear a hole in the carpet. "Blair, are you ok? Do you want to sit down?" I ask her quietly. She turns and looks at me as though she forgot I was even there. After a moment she shakes her head and continues pacing. Feeling confused I decide that I want to sit down. Really I just want a beer. I contemplate going to the kitchen to get one when Blair suddenly turns to me.

"I read it."

"Read what? I have no idea what you're talking about, Blair. You come here and pace in my living room then you tell me that you 'read it.' What's 'it'?" I ask her, feeling really frustrated and angry with her just now.

"The journal. Your journal. You know the one I found? Well when I was skimming through it I saw my name and I read a little bit of it. When I read it, it shocked me. I mean really shocked me. But later that night I sneaked out of the room and stole the journal out of the box. I wanted to read more. I liked what I read. I mean I really liked it. What you wrote about me, it scared me but it gave me butterflies. I knew that a girl could feel like that for another girl. I mean, I was never told that I could. You know with me being a Warner and everything. I always thought that what I felt was best ignored. I tried to make myself feel that way about the boys I dated, not you, but then I read your journal that you had the same feelings for me." She stops to take a breath and sits down on the arm chair facing me.

"I got scared. I wanted to know if you felt the same for me, but you were married Rick so I thought that maybe it was a little crush you had. I mean the journal was from our third year, it was a long time ago even then. I couldn't face you knowing that I was in love with you, that I wanted to be with you and I couldn't, that you wouldn't want me the way I wanted you. I mean, you married Rick. So obviously you wouldn't want me. I thought you knew that I had read it and that I had it but you were too angry and too proud to ask for it back. Then all that time passed and I was too scared to contact you. Even when Tootie and Natalie told me that you needed me. I couldn't. But when you showed up at my door I couldn't stand it any longer. I've been so miserable for the past five years. I need you in my life, Jo. I don't care how; I just need to be a part of your life and for you to be a part of mine. Please forgive me Jo."

Well, at least now I know why we haven't spoken in years. I honestly don't know what to think. Yes, I still feel the same way. In fact more. Back then it was just a silly school girl crush and purely physical, but my feelings grew over time and one day I realised that I was in love with my boy-crazy best friend. There was nothing I could do. At least I thought there was nothing I could do. Feeling numb with shock I feel myself lowering onto the sofa. Glad of the support it offered, I stare at her. How could I have known that the Princess of the cafeteria would have felt anything but pity and distain for a street kid from the Bronx?

As my senses come back to me, I realise one thing, "we wouldn't have worked, Blair." Her head snaps up with shock. She opens her mouth to interrupt, but I beat her too it. "If we had known how each other felt back then, we wouldn't have worked. We both needed to grow up. We were too young and immature."

"What about now, Jo? Are we too young and immature? Do you think we could work now?" As her words penetrate my brain, it's my turn for my head to snap up. I'm not sure what to make of her questions. Looking into her eyes, I can't be sure of what I see. She moves towards me slowly, never losing eye contact. "Jo, do you think we could work out now? Are you willing to give us a chance?" She squats down in front of me so we're on the same level. I watch in amazement as her hand comes up and cups my cheek. Unable to stop myself, I close my eyes and lean into her touch.

Unsure of my voice I whisper a quiet, "yeah, I do."

I open my eyes and see in hers a mirror of the emotions going through me. Fear, love, nervousness and happiness. I lean forward and capture her lips in our first kiss. It's slow and tentative but full of promise of things to come. I pull her towards me, so she straddles my lap. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I hold her to me as she wraps her arms around my neck. Her fingers play with the hairs at the base of my neck. When air becomes an issue we both pull back so our foreheads rest together.

Panting slightly, I ask, "Blair, can I take you out for a date?"

She smirks slightly, "yeah, I think I could let you do that."

"Oh gee, Blair. You're so good to me." She lets out a really girly squeal as I shift our position so she is lying on the sofa with me above her.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do this? How long I've waited to kiss you?" looking at her I can see the emotion bubbling in her eyes. I watch in amazement as a small tear trickles from her eye. I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.

"If it's as long as I've wanted it, then you've waited a long time. I have to ask if you could wait a little longer. I want to take you out first. I want to do this properly. Take it slow, make it last."

"Oh, Jo. That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." She cries out tightening her arms around my neck pulling me into a suffocating hug. She pushes me slightly and looks me square in the eye, "You'd better not wait too long though. Now I know that I can have you, I want you even more." She growls before she crashes our lips together.


End file.
